Stevie Might Be A Mermaid:

Is it still me that makes you sweat, am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim, and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your clothes?
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any girl you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me.
Boy, I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of exchanging body heat in the passenger seat
No no no, you know it will always just be me

Scenester:

so basically, tonight was movie night
and steven and heather came over and we dressed like scene kids
anddd it was pretty funny.

a fun night with some of my best friends.
BTW LADIES STEVEN IS SINGLE.
http://www.myspace.com/swpswp
check him out.

warped:

Tonight:

Okay, so starting off, didn't think today was going to be a good day at all.
Mannnnnn was i wrong.
Turned out so goooood.
Heather and me at lunch.
hahahaha her tripping on the way to class.
Dad came to visit, after a long absence.
Got a hook up on tickets to an amazing concert.
Jessss and me planned our break trip.
and it just ended with some really good conversations.

xo,
Stevie.

Thanks to all who turned my day around.

oh god:

-how come i like ketchup but not tomatoes?
-why is leopard print so damn sexy?
-do people understand sarcasm?
-how many people are getting busy right now? ;]
-why is my dancing so atrocious?
-how did i graduate high school?
-why can't i spell?
-does it make me red neck, because i like beef jerkey?

Hi, I'm in a hallway:

So i'm half an hour early for my class,
and i'm sitting on the floor
in a hallway.
Its funny the looks you get from strangers.

A few random thoughts of the moment:
-Why is it that I can't think of him, without you popping into my mind?
-Is it true we all want what we can't have?
-Is there a such thing as a right choice?
-Why won't my dad approve of my life?
-Why can't I see the negative in people?
-"Sex, everyone is doing it"... uhh duh? stating the obvious right?

More to come later...

<3
btw, check out this band called Manchester Orchestra.
Simply Amazing.

funny how things work:

when you aren't looking for it,
it comes to you.

sleepover:

In Memory:

Today I was walking through the restaurant,
and this song came on.


its funny the things, or people a song can bring back to your memory.
i remember when this song came out
and my mom first heard it. and she was like in tears,
because my grandfather was killed over 20 years ago
and the lyric
"like my father's come to pass, twenty years has gone so fast"
i guess brought him to mind for her.

so every time i hear it,
i think of that exact day, and the look on her face.
i can't imagine what it would feel like to loose someone that important to you.

In memory of Grandpa Hatfield.
I never got the chance to meet you,
but i wish i did.

<3
S.

a walk through hell:

be there for them, thats all you can do. if it's right, then it will happen.

<33 S.

Starting to realize everything happens for a reason.

Say Anything:

Photos:

hi this is my ass.

i was blonde for a new york minute.

pre-prom?


my dizzate. BRYCE. i asked him to prom.

she wanted me.


ahh.. the high school friends.

slutty greek goddess and slutty little red riding hood. damn straight.

prom panties. had to match the dress.

v.i.b.

hands up mothafukka. we wear our sunglasses at night.

a bit mixed up. much like my brain.

hi i'm on webcam.

i'm cool as fuck.

we look horrible. but 5 years and counting.


doraaaaaa <33

max bemis, or better known as my husband.

i was never good at coordinating my landings.

umm, i'm dtf?

Since It's Over?

"Man, fuck school! I knew what I was about and I wasn't gonna let society dictate my life!" Okay, I'm indulging a bit. But seriously, high school's most important role in actually educating me was what it taught me about what I would invariably get outside of school. The exact same things! What is the difference between the things we concern ourselves with now verses when we were popping zits, and worrying about where to sit at lunch? The differing factors are merely aesthetic.The consistencies are quiet remarkable if one is inclined to to parallel. Who's wearing what, who's dating who, who's failing, and who's NOT enjoying that that person is failing?!

It is all so predictable that it actually borders on banal. Even our most esteemed human institutions fail to escape these trappings. Public office for example has deteriorated into a less entertaining version of advanced debate 101. Our current President has the swagger of a failed porn star, and the attention span of a video game junkie. All the while carrying himself in the manner of the school bully who lacks terminally in self confidence therefore over compensating by beating up on the kids with different skin color and funny hats.

I guess I sound pretty much like the unpopular loser kid who did well in her studies and is deeply resentful at society for not allowing me to be popular. The funny thing is, is that I wasn't the most popular, but I wasn't the least popular either. I went to SOME school activities but not all. I knew everyone but was only close with about four or five people. I did well in my studies, some places better than others but wasn't considered "brainy". In a lot of ways I guess I was just oing through the motions. Having a great time as anyone in High School should. But I guess I may have stumbled onto something around my seventeenth birthday. I realized these WEREN'T the best days of my life. And I wasn't in any hurry to make them so. I had patience. Maybe even foresight. I knew that if I finished this, my "debt to society" as it were, I wouldn't regret any of my decisions I made thereafter. Sounds fucking corny if you ask me. But who's asking?
I don't want this to sound like an endorsement for "Staying in School"; by all means, tune in, turn on, and drop out. But know that anyone who tells you that things change once you finish school are liars!

Why write about this? aren't I merely stating the obvious? After all, we do know how small and predictable humans are, and to spend twenty minutes writing about it is indeed calling the kettle black. But I guess my intentions, as always, are rooted in transcendece.

Words:

Speak.

Did you ever get that feeling while you were talking to somethat that you were saying too much? That the things which were falling from your lips were inappropriate but only in the sense that the person you were sharing them with didnt actually need to know what you were telling them? I find myself more and more wanting to say less; but I invariably end up feeling like I've said too much.

I remember feeling this way before. I remember spilling my guts to a friend or something when I was in High School. You know, the times when your thoughts of individuality and emotion run rampant and your sense of invincibility borders on dangerous levels. I recall feeling so good about letting go of whatever it was I was talking about and really elaborating on certain basic thoughts and feeling kind of smart in the process. But after the fact feeling a bit stupid for having revealed so much to someone who most likely didn't care, and as well as sevem digits away from sharing my thoughts to a vast network of gossip hungry teens not too dissimilar from me at the time. They in turn would go on to share too much information with another friend and so on and so forth. Thereby confirming mt after-the-fact fears of revealing too much in the first place. Shit.

So much of what we say gets misconstrued and misinterpreted on a daily basis. I guess thats one of the prices you pay for being blessed with consciousness. Someone somewhere will have a problem with anything you do. So it doesn't even make sense to try and make any sense of it.

<3