More Tattoo Ideas:

im obsessed with anchors
and that style of tattoo
and the bird just seemed fitting and beautiful.

C'mon Baby:

It's been a LONG time since I've updated.
So, I moved to my dads house in the South Bay.
I got a car.
87' Suburban.



I also got my knuckles tattooed [not all of them, just 2]



these are what im planning on getting next:


the top one idk where its going yet, or even if im for sure with getting it
and the bottom one is going on my rib cage and im positive i want it.


hope everyone had a great holiday.

PS.

I'm going east coast in may.
Bamboozle.
<3333
details in the future.

Steven Richard Alexander:

A day doesn't go by where I don't think about you.
I'm losing weight, losing sleep, and I'm scared out of my mind.
I know your stable, but is anything promised?
I can't lose you.
I'm sitting here crying because every song reminds me of you,
and I don't think you realize how much I care about you.
I miss seeing your face everyday.
I miss being able to make sure you're okay.
I don't have that luxury, but all I can do is sit here and pray that I can hear your voice tomorrow.
No one knows how much this really killed me.
Every second, a ticking time bomb.
Waiting for me to break.
And it's happening.

I just wish I knew we could make this end,
If I could I would shrink myself, sink through your skin to your blood cells,
remove whatever makes you hurt, but I am too weak to be your cure.
Make this all go away over night.
I owe you every day I wake, and I won't rest until I know your gonna be fine.

Dad,
Even though we have had the most strained relationship,
you are my heart and soul. And I can never lose you.

We're gonna make it.

<3

It's hard to say I care, when I don't:

I speak fast and I'm not gonna repeat myself
So listen carefully to every word I say:
I'm the only one who's gonna get away with making excuses today.


You're so full of shit
I can't stand the way you act
I just can't comprehend it



One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great.

One of my favorite people ever:

Jess R. Levy.
You save me from breaking down in a hospital at 9 o'clock at night.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

Updates:

-I'm 18.
-I spent my birthday with my dad at Torrance Memorial Hospital,
Trying to make sure he gets better.
-I got a tattoo dedicated to my dad and mom.


I haven't celebrated my birthday yet,
But I have celebrated life, because He made it, and I'm so thankful.
I don't know if I could live without him.
I've been praying every night for him to get better.
And hopefully from here on out, he'll take better care of himself.

Taking it one step at a time.

And, I haven't seen my best friends in like 5 days.
Having withdrawals.


xoxo
-S.


P.S.
I tell myself, on the ride home
I'm getting tired, hating all I've known
I'm holding on, like it's all I have
Count me out, when it's clear that I, find it hard to say
And you, find it hard to care

I wanted to see something that's different, something you said would change in me
Wanted to be, anything different, everything you would change in me

CORRECTION: No longer thinking about that kid.

Webcam Photos:

Sitting in a hospital and my dad is still one of the happiest people I know. He's fighting this with full force.

Dedicated to my favorites:

losing the butterflies:

Here's to a speedy recovery and a heart that's better than ever!

<3

More about me:

stevie marie alexander
october 4th, 1990.
libra.
the cup is half empty.
born in long beach.
divorced parents.
2 houses.
green eyes.
naturally dirty-blonde.
5'5
OCD
thinks too much.
likes the unattainable ones.
horrible at returning phone calls.
hates talking on the phone.
text-a-holic.
right handed.
super small feet. 5.5/6
9 piercings.
panic attacks.
heather ann winnigham, the best friend.
confident.
anxiety.
saint bernard owner.
obsessed with say anything.
isn't sure about ever getting married.
one of the boys.
bad at talking to boys.
idolizes gwen stefani.
attending college.
always falling for the wrong boys.
can't leave the house without double checking the lock on the door.
honest.
sarcastic.
stubborn.
passionate.
cares too much.
is going to be in a commercial.
too nice.
loves eccentric people.
loves laughter.
loves solitude.
scared to loose people.
believes in kissing on the first date.
gym lover.
walks somewhere everyday.
does make-up for events.
cuts hair.
usually indecisive.
plans on getting several tattoos.
hates getting let down.
own worst enemy.
sings when sad.
loves cereal.
hates dessert.
loves the smell of oranges.
fan of 90's music.
400 sit ups a night.
obsessed with leopard print.
shoes, shoes, shoes.
loves feeling needed.
hates being ignored.
nieces and nephew>you.
2 big brothers.
4 step sisters.
from the murks of the sultry abyss, favorite book.
apple juice.
elevators.
art.
music.
movies.
movie nights.
orange sherbert.
cardigans.
skinny jeans.
racerbacks.
boots.
city lights.
mountains.
beach.
meeting people.
usually has a lot to say.
discouraged easily.
concerts.
memories.
only been in love once.
doesn't get into relationships all too much.
pay it forward.
hates super clingy people.
dreamer.
cynic.
backwards.
embraces change.
lust is today's love.
still wears a retainer at night.
advice.
open book, still being written.

A little insight:

Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast the truth
Don't want to lose what I had as a kid
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
As common as a cold day in L.A.

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface, this one-man submarine?
I only want the truth!
So tonight we drink to youth!
I'll never lose what I had as a girl

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

Such an amazing song.
When the cd dropped and this was my absolute favorite.
And scanning my music collection today, I came across it.
So i decided to post it. because it's stellar.
Without a doubt.

xoxo

Naked But That Belt Around My Waist:

Random Pictures:


new hat

how cute is this? For REAL.

aw, cute.

mmmmm.. lets go to fridays and get one nowwww.


Hey, This is something I have to do for myself.
I have to for myself.

It's early.
And i'm listening to my favorite band.
Great way to start off the day.

Yesterday ended well.
I cleared the air, and for once I feel fine about it.

<3

Failure By Design:

Watch you, on the one's and two's
Through a window in a well lit room
Become a recluse
And I blame myself cause I make things hard and you're just trying to help
And when I wake up, you're the first to call
This is one more late night basement song
And I'm so sore, my voice has gone to hell
and this is one more sleepless night
Because we don't believe in filler baby
If I could I'd sit this out

This is a lesson in procrastination
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated
And every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock
What say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder
I'm another day late and one year older
It's failure by design

And we just want sleep, but this night is hell
I'm sick and sunk
And I blame myself cause I make things hard and you're just trying to help
I got no gas,I'm winding out my gears
This is one more day on the verge of tears
And now my head hurts and my health is a joke
And now I got to stop cause the headphones broke
we don't believe in filler
Baby, if I could I'd sit this out

This is a lesson in procrastination
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated
And every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock
What say we go and crash your car?
And every time I leave you go and lock the door
So I walk myself picking at a chip on my shoulder
I'm another day late and one year older
It's failure by design

I'm out of everything
No one sleeps until we get this shit out on the shelves
It's late, I'm faltering
but this time I got nothing to say besides

Baby I'm better than this

Stevie Might Be A Mermaid:

Is it still me that makes you sweat, am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim, and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your clothes?
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch your skin
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any girl you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me.
Boy, I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of exchanging body heat in the passenger seat
No no no, you know it will always just be me