updated:

about 4 months and 3 tattoos later,
its mid april and i'm still in the same boat.

i'm not getting closer to my personal goals, but not falling behind either.
its like i'm stuck in play and i want to be in fast forward.
i want things to happen, i need them to. going back to school, getting better job, getting a better car, having a love life, again?

i havent been doing absolutely nothing, i've been doing quite a bit.
i've been writing again, drawing again, becoming re-aquainted with an old friend, and making new ones. i've also seen my favorite band play at a free music festival, that without a doubt made my year. but i've also made it hard for myself, my nerves take the best of me and make it almost impossible for me to approach people who interest me. "if you bore me than i'm comfortable, if you interest me i'm scared."

everything takes time, and somethings you can't force. so in due time i'll get what i want.

i guess im just longing to do something out of the ordinary, like get a job as a merch person for a band and tour the country all summer, or go on a road trip alone, or move away for a few months in solitude. something that isn't part of the "norm" for an 18 year old girl.

i need something new.


-s.

p.s. find me a new car? mine broke down again.